Porn in a relationship

Is your husband watching porn to the point where it’s disturbing your marriage? Are you feeling insecure and highly pained by the idea of him lusting after other, possibly more beautiful women – when you’re begging and crying for his love and attention under the very same roof and in the very same bed he’s sleeping and possibly fantasizing and having erotic dreams about them in?
Pornography is easily accessible these days; I would even go so far as to say it’s almost mainstream. You can buy a girly mag in almost any supermarket, watch italiano porno online, or even rent adult movies at the local video store so long as you’re 18 and up.

Watch this video’s talking about How to improve your sex life

I usually am of the belief that a couple should dictate their own rules and regulations in terms of what is and is not acceptable in their marital bed. However, if your husband watches pornography, this can be a sticky topic. When is he watching too much porn? And when can it get to a point where it can or does affect your sex life together?

While it is not immediately conclusive that your husband’s pornography habits don’t immediately signal cheating, there is something to be said for your lack of comfort in his actions.

If his porn bothers you, examine why. Do you feel sexually compared to or intimidated by the women that he looks like? Do they look nothing like you – which puts you off because it seems as if he’s not into you sexually and physically? Are they doing things you would never desire to try out?

After figuring out what bothers you and why, determine how to talk to him about it and see how he responds. Hopefully he’s understanding but explains that porn is his way of enjoying himself without you, that it doesn’t even begin to reflect what he wants from you. Don’t be surprised if he becomes defensive or secretive; porn can make almost anyone feel put off guard because it’s such a taboo subject even its users don’t openly discuss it.

Porn in a relationship

If he becomes secretive, then allow yourself to cool off and understand that he might be ashamed. Try to put it out your mind, and simply tell him you’d like to see him save some action for you since you’re ready and willing when he is. Being saucy about it allows him to feel less edgy.

Again, sexual desires are a private thing, so if anyone should know what pushes against positive or negative boundaries in your marriage, this should be kept between the two of you. I cannot personally dictate what’s too much or too little or even acceptable for you and your husband, but I can encourage you to communicate with him about your feelings.

I agree that too much porn can ruin a relationship especially if your intimacy and sexual experiences become limited and few and far between. However, I would hesitate to say that your husband is cheating on you because of porn. Most people define cheating as a physical or emotional act. In the sense that he’s locking himself off to you, and then yea, I can see this as a type of cheating personally, I’ve dealt with this and it’s a painful situation. Most men aren’t aware of how their sexual actions with porn can shut us out, but I’ve rarely seen a guy whose into porn allow it to bring him to another live woman’s bed or really desire it. These men usually look at porn as a release… and some use it to actually curb physical desires.

Try to speak with him first and see how he reacts before you drive yourself nuts. If you feel he’s unwilling to change, or very defensive, then yes, it’s possible that he’s really wrapped up in pornographic and/or sexual addiction – but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. If he admits sexual interest in another woman or women, then yes, it’s possible there’s a link to his porn and his desires to cheat – but not that he IS cheating.

We often get asked this question when working with couples as well as individuals. Pornography, now more commonly known as “porn”, has been around in various forms for thousands of years dating back to cave dweller paintings and well-endowed clay fertility statues.

On the positive side, we have found that pornography and erotica can enhance a couple’s sex life by getting them in the mood. In these all too busy stressful hectic times, couples often find themselves lacking the motivation to be intimate with one another and watching a few minutes of porn can set the ball in motion. Watching porn can revitalize things up when “sexy-time” starts to become routine. Couples often figure out what their partner enjoys and fall into predictable patterns. There is nothing like the excitement of not knowing what is going to happen next to spice things up. Viewing pornography can also give partners new ideas or permission to play out various fantasies. For those on the more inhibited side when it comes to discussing sex, it may be a way to teach you and your partner how to be a better lover or explore uncharted territories you find exciting.

When Is Watching Porn Considered Excessive?

Porn And RelationshipsAccording to a research conducted on online behaviour, for people who engaged in any kind of sexual activity for less than an hour a week, their habit had little impact on their lives. However, if the exposure to online porn was 11 hours or more a week, the respondents said their habits could affect both their self-image and feelings about their partners. Therefore anywhere between one and ten hours a week is a grey area, which is still tolerable. It may be just a way to release stress.

When Or Under What Situations Can Watching Porn Becoming A Relationship Problem?

Guilt, mistrust and anger about pornography can hurt marriages. Turning to pornography may cause a guy to be emotionally withdrawn from his relationship with spouse because he receives instant gratification from his fantasies. When a woman disapproves of his partner’s porn use habit, this can create a wedge in the relationship. Porn could make it difficult for a guy to see sex as a loving form of communication. As a result, pornography can decrease sexual satisfaction within a relationship.

The obvious sign for misuse of porn is the lack of sexual desire in a relationship. Other signs and symptoms of porn addiction are excessive masturbation, moodiness, and a guy who almost totally ‘shut’ himself off from the outside world to the extent that he neglects his family, spouse, job, hobbies, etc. He will stay up late at night just to spend time on the computer and he wants to be alone when he is online. He will also refuse to admit there is a problem with his behaviour and is unwilling to talk about it.

If you feel that your spouse is slowly pulling away from being intimate with you and he is not willing to let you see what he is watching because it may be inappropriate, you should consider going to get help together. You have the right to expect your needs to be addressed, exactly as much as he has the right to have his needs addressed.

 

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