Let’s face reality. One of the most looked forward to honeymoon activities is sex. There are two basic truths that go along with this reality. As the honeymoon approaches, the more the anticipation of sex and the honeymoon increases. If the new couple has never previously had sex with one another, or had sex at all, there is a fear the goes along with that anticipation. So when it comes to putting together sex and honeymoon, it is a tricky emotional maze that can be difficult for a new couple to navigate.
The question then becomes how does a new couple approach sex on a honeymoon? The answer is the same as many other marriage related issues. Sex on a honeymoon is the matter of a tender, loving care.
Often when one thinks of a wedding, all sorts of things come to mind. There is all the planning that goes into the ceremony. There is all the preparation, not to mention the cost, for the reception. There is the fun of deciding on a honeymoon and making those arrangements. The groom gets to go out with the guys while the bride and her friends play wedding games and open up the sexy lingerie. Wrapped up in all these arrangements is a great deal of stress.
You would think that once you get done with the ceremony, all the stress would evaporate. For the most part, it may be true in regard to months’ worth of plans coming to a successful and wonderful conclusion. Yet it is often replaces with another form of stress that sets in after the ceremony. This is the stress on sex on the wedding night.
You might wonder why would sex on the wedding night be so stressful. The answer can be summed up in one word: expectations. Both bride and groom have expectations of what intimacy with the other will be like and sex on the wedding night is supposed to be the fulfillment of those expectations. Yet that fulfillment isn’t always what it is cracked up to be.
There is no reason to be speedy – in any way at all. You don’t have to hurry. How many days do you have for your honeymoon? If you think about it, that means there is plenty of opportunity for sex on a honeymoon even if it is a short honeymoon. Don’t rush into intimacy. Take the time to learn each other. Learn what each other likes and dislikes. Learn what feels good and what doesn’t. Understand you don’t have to learn it all in a week. On a honeymoon, you are starting a new life together. While sex on a honeymoon may offer the most plenteous opportunity in terms of time, most couples don’t stop being intimate when they get home. In other words, sex on a honeymoon isn’t the last time you and your spouse will have sex (or it shouldn’t be).
There’s no reason to be selfish. Your goal should be to make sex on a honeymoon, and all the time, a pleasure for your spouse. Do during intimacy what please your partner. If your desire is to please your partner, you will find that it becomes reciprocal. Your partner will desire to please you. When you learn that in the first days of marriage, sex on a honeymoon becomes an unforgettable and thrilling experience.
There’s no reason to be inhibited. In a lot of areas of life, people often use the phrase, “we’ve never done it that way before.” In the case of sex on a honeymoon, the appropriate response would be, “So what! Let’s try it! It may be fun!” You don’t know how much fun it would be, or how much pleasure it would bring if you are too inhibited to try.
There’s no reason for silence. What I mean by this is simple. Especially with sex on a honeymoon, you should talk about sex before, during, and after. Talk about what you think you would like. Talk during the act. Words make good guides. “That feels good” may be a wonderful encouragement. Talk after the fact about what you liked and what might fell better next time. In so doing, you will increase the pleasure you feel.
Tips for the Best Sex Honeymoon
- Sequester yourselves away. Take time off before the wedding for visiting relatives. It’s hard to have wild sex at night thinking you’ll have to be composed and see your mother and mother-in-law in the morning. Set aside special events for the family before you become husband and wife. Don’t see anyone you know; don’t text your mother or your maid of honor; don’t update Facebook. Secrets are sexy.
- A six-hour radius should be your travel limit. Make it far enough away that no one will visit and close enough that you won’t exhaust yourself with travel. Don’t empty your pocket book either for the trip; set a reasonable budget so you can enjoy yourselves without future fretting.
- Sexual fantasies for the wedding night are important to share in advance! Watch the alcohol consumption at the reception so you are not too tired to live out your dreams. Even when couples have been sexually active or living together, this night holds powerful expectations for the beginning of your life.
- Six days of the trip should be unstructured with nothing pre-planned except love-making, long walks and leisurely talks. Weddings are exhausting and you’ll need rest.
- Seduction, sexual adventure and fun are your top priorities. Bring a trousseau – “honeymoon clothes” or sexy lingerie. If it’s not his style bring a few pieces still – a French maid apron, g-strings, matching bra and panties. Bring flavoured lubricants, travel candles, and vibrators. (To hell with customs!) Tell your groom to collect a “sex music” playlist for his iPod. Leave your inhibitions at home.
- See a sex therapist if this is your first full sexual experience to talk about everything from technique and mechanics to feelings, fears and fantasies.